Who Am I If Nobody is Looking?
Sprint to centre stage as if being chased. Speak while out of breath and be visibly anxious and aware of surroundings. Look around while appearing dazed. Use hand gestures to express emotion.
Trapped in these four bleak walls I battle to get a breath of air. The few sun rays which sneak into this cave blind and terrify me. The time on the ticking clock seems infinite yet simultaneously non-existent. The world around me crumbles and decays while I cry over my frivolous concerns. Revolutions and social uprise ensue as I rot from confinement. Inside, I’m forced to confront my demons and ponder if they truly define me.
Begin pacing around the entire stage as breath returns more to normal. Still, be hyperaware of surroundings and appear tense.
Who knew spending time with yourself was such a punishment? This time makes me pity those around me. It’s made me realise what a nuisance I am and has led me to wonder how others put up with me. Do I even know who I am?
Begin pacing slower around the stage.
I honestly seem to change as the seasons do. At times I’ve been on edge with nill patience as a violent winter storm. Then, the flowers blossom and I become as easygoing and content as a breezy spring day. Though no matter how much I love spring and how much I pray that it lasts forever, summer has to eventually roll around.
Return again to the centre stage. Now be still and sit cross-legged.
Though these seasons are unknown and nor simple. These seasons are never uniform or predictable. Leaping into them requires vulnerability and a sense of faith. Possessing faith requires hope – which I lack. Each day I force every fibre of my being to struggle through this construct, which is described as time. The pain will never be outweighed by the short-lived moments of joy and happiness.
Look around and then run off stage again as if being chased like in the beginning.