Who Am I If Nobody is Looking?
(Walk onto stage) In this world, where we’re all so connected (hand gesture motioning to size of audience), I find myself questioning how much of this (hands motioning down to body), really is me. Everywhere I go (walk from side to side of stage), there’s people (stop walking); people watching, judging and questioning. Maybe they take no notice of me, but their presence and eyes are enough to alter how I act. (Walk back to centre stage) Soon I become a collaborative piece, another clay sculpture molded by society. You begin to subconsciously change yourself, (increase speed of speech) not for you, not for the better, (slow down speed for emphasis) but for others and who you think they want you to be like. Soon, people’s opinions and voices drive you.
(stage lights dim)
But in the silence of my room, (sit down on floor) with the blinds drawn, door shut, my puppet strings come undone (posture drops). I feel as if here, my actions never happened. Without others to know about them, do they even have meaning? If I’m a superhero alone, so what? (throws hands up like in a shrug) Is there a purpose to being someone, no one else sees or knows about? (increase volume of voice with each question) Can a puppet without a master still move? Who am I and does she exist if no one’s looking? (pause before continuing)
Countless more days alone, I continue to ask myself. My answers remained, so I decided to change the question; (stop walking) who are you, no matter who’s looking?
Because I know to rely too much on others, (slowly rise from ground) and it’s not something one can do forever. (Walking from side to side of stage) If that power source is suddenly cut, (pause walking, then continue after this line) who do I become? (speak louder)And to flip back and forth (finger gestures up and down as if flipping a switch) between two acts like a light switch, (lower voice) drains you. And can you ever be fully content with who you are, (pause walking and slow speed of speech) if you change yourself with everybody you see?
(return to sitting on centre of stage) So isolated in the silence of my room, I now realise who I should be in front of others. And when I do come close to that, then I’ll confidently be able to say, (pause, then speak next line slowly and with emphasis) yes, I’m the same me, no matter who is looking.
(spotlight as lights dim, and then complete blackout)
